Hindsight 20/20

Mon, Jan 27, 2014

Hindsight 20/20

Looking back on that day, I now think that perhaps I should've said, “ I want to be EVEN BETTER than Keanu Reeves!”, (his cousin lived down the road from us in upstate New York, by the way) because my acting career just hasn't been the same since. Maybe I put the wrong message out to the universe and they didn't have a sense of humor. Maybe I should have been more specific.

A Star Is Born 1/25/14

Sat, Jan 25, 2014


A Star Is Born


He looked like a very powerful man. There were so many medals on his Robin's-egg blue uniform that it made a fiesta of shimmer in your eyes. His golden hair reflected the sunlight almost as efficiently as his medals. He looked like Dennis the Menace during an Easter Parade. A self-proclaimed film producer, director, entertainment mogul, you name it, he did it. And he wasn't shy to tell you. But what sold the deal for me, what made me REALLY want to kiss his smooth powder-white producer ass, was his pitch (literally and figuratively). I could tell he had refined taste in talent and I wasn't going to let this opportunity pass me by without impressing him.
      “I could make you a Hollywood star, boy! An INTERNATIONAL film superstar! ” he said promisingly.
      “Oh. Oh...um...really?”, I responded.
      “But I just don't think you're good enough. And you have to get yourself to a gym.” he said flattering me.
      “Why don't you think I'm good enough to make it as a movie star?After all, I've performed on Broadway.” I said triumphantly.
       He explained. “I don't care about all that, you're just not talented and good looking enough to be on the A-list!”
      “Well, what actors DO you like?” I was fishing.
      “ Keanu Reeves! You're just not as good as he is.”
      “ Are you serious right now?”
      “He was AMAZING in The Matrix! You'll never be as good as Keanu Reeves.” He continued as I suppressed a hearty laugh, “But I'll make you a deal. If you go outside your house right now and throw your hands up in the air like you just don't care and shout, no SCREAM, at the top of your lungs, 'I WANNA BE JUST AS GOOD AS KEANU REEVES!!!!!' so the whole neighborhood can hear you, I'll make you an over-night Hollywood movie star.”
      Was I dreaming? Could it be that easy? All I had to do was humiliate myself in front of all the neighbors and for only a brief moment. One fleeting, stinging, degrading self-effacing moment and I would be a movie star. So I swallowed my pride and ran outside taking center stage beneath the Magnolia tree and threw my hands up in the air like I just didn't care and yelled for all of God's creatures to hear:
     “I WANNA BE ALMOST AS GOOD A KEANU REEVES!!!!!!!!!!!”.
It was the classiest way I could think of telling him to go fuck himself.

Fri, Jan 24, 2014

UFO or U Found Out

One dark and twisted night, while my partner-at-the-time and I were living together in San Francisco, we climbed into bed as usual for a night of much needed sleep. The day leading up to this foreboding nightcap was relatively passive and uneventful, so I was completely broadsided when suddenly and without warning, it became frightfully obvious from the marked change in his body language, that there was something unusual and sinister on, or rather IN his mind (as I would eventually come to understand it many years later).
      “They told me never to trust you”, he sneered with his back turned towards me.
      “Who told you never to trust me?”, I asked with just indignation.
      “You'll find out”.
It took me almost 6 years to find out. My blog is about my journey towards discovery.